Sandy Dickson
LA Noir  

Samples of entries in varied categories in
Volumes from “Sandy’s Notebook” series

From Sandy’s Humor Collection:

Case Number Four

A couple visiting a farm in the country
Were walking with a farmer near the fence.
When the lady of the couple, quite curious,
Was pondering over the day’s events.

“I noticed that only some of the cows have horns—
Why is it that some do and others don’t?”
The farmer answered, “Well, there are just three cases
Of why some cows will and other ones won’t.”

“In case number one, some aren’t meant to have any.
They won’t grow any after they are born.
Second case is when they are knocked off in fighting.
In case number three, some cows are dehorned.”

“What about that funny one over there? she asked.
He must have been born without them, of course.”
“That there would be case number four,” the farmer said.
Then added, “Case number four is a horse.”

Antique Shopping

A customer went into an antique shop,
And said, “Last week when I was in here,
I saw a large sized mug with a flat head
And it’s capable of holding lots of beer.”

“I didn’t have enough money that day,
But today I came back to buy what I saw.”
The dealer said, “Sorry ma’am, I can’t do that,”
“Why can’t you?”
“Because that’s my father-in-law.”

Travel Mode

A lady went to the railroad ticket window,
And said, “I’d like a ticket to New York, sir.”
So he asked, “Would you like to go by Buffalo?”
“Good Heaven’s no—a train is what I’d prefer.”

Sky Diver

A blind skydiver was talking with a friend,
When the friend said, “I heard you gave up he diving.
Why would you do that? I know how you loved it.
It seems a challenge is what keeps you thriving.”

“Yes, I really love the sport—I’ll sure miss it,
And of course I’m not bothered by clouds or fog,
Like most of the sighted divers are these days,
But all skydiving seemed to bother my dog.”

From Sandy’s Ponderables

At the Least

For some, thankfulness is laborious,
Not stopping to realize how glorious
The myriad of things we have to be thankful for.
However, if we can’t be thankful for them,
Choosing not to recognize, but ignore them,
At least those things we escape, we should be
      grateful for.

Injustice, Just the Same

I have never robbed or injured
With a physical affront,
And I would hope my deeds were kind,
With words not too curt or blunt.

But, oh, the things I’ve neglected
And nice thoughts never performed
Left only as intended things
That went unenjoyed—forlorn,

             Because I never followed through
When nice thoughts I could employ.
But by keeping still or silent
I robbed someone of a joy.

The Journey

Most of us have dreams and hopes
And some sort of aspiration,
And a course we must follow
So we reach our destination,
But as we proceed toward it,
Traversing the right direction,
We may just get so caught up
In our concern for perfection,
We forget to take delight
In little joys along the way
Being too tunnel-visioned,
To notice things each day
That could enhance the journey
But for the blinders we wear,
And we forget life’s treasures
Lying in wait to be claimed there.            

Back Unto Ourselves

We are ancestors unto ourselves,
But at the same time, we’re our own heirs too,
             For while we inherit our own past,
              We design our own futures by what we do.

Saint in a Fur Coat

He faithfully waits in the dark or the light,
For his master to come home day or night.
Just where his master has gone, he doesn’t care.
His main concern is that his master is there.
Any wrong the master’s done is forgiven,
And having him home is a piece of heaven.
He greets his returned master when he’s been gone,
Whatever time it has been has been too long.
Master need not feel sorry or make amends,
Now all’s right with the world and they are best friends.
It matters not how others may perceive him,
His fur-covered friend will always believe him.
He’ll follow his master while judging him not,
He’ll give to him, all the affection he’s got.
He’ll have boundless faith and love beyond compare,
He cares about nothing but having him there.
He doesn’t want to be where his master ain’t,
Because he’s a devoted, fur-coated saint.

From The "Life" Category:

Value of a Lifetime

Neither long nor short lifetimes can be judged by years,
Because it’s not so much the years that have passed,
But what’s been done with the time allotted within
That makes a lifetime full for length that elapsed.

How worthwhile could a life of many years have been
From embittered emotions, turning one cold?
But a young life that’s given love and blessings
Hasn’t wasted precious years just getting old.

A life that has tried to conquer and live its dreams
And found it’s not all in attainment where joy lies,
  But in the attempt that’s been made to reach one’s      dreams
That part of fulfillment is because one tries.

And a life is not rich for money or its years,
But for what it has forgiven and how it has blessed;
How it has served God and fellow man while on earth,
Is what establishes its richness and success.

Approaching Circumstance

It is not so much the circumstance
Within which we are placed.
But the spirit with which we meet it
That determines how we’re graced.
And then constitutes our comfort too,
By how easily we can contend.
Serving us to be strong,
Therefore, never a foe, but a friend.


Humorous poem of the week from Sandy's
humor collection. All
Entries in this new weekly
feature are copyright protected

Those Red Coats
Sandy Dickson

Many years ago when France and Britain were at war,
During one battle that put the English in danger.
The French considered it their good, successful fortune,
And rejoiced much when they captured a British Major.

The French general asked: "Why do you silly English
- At least your officers---wear visible coats of red?
Don't you know red makes you easier targets for us?
Why not wear something a bit more camouflage instead?"

"We wear them so that if we do get shot, blood won't show,
And the men we're leading won't see blood and get frantic."
The French general thought this was a pretty good thought.
From that day, the French wear brown pants for when they panic.



Sandy Dickson

Humor From
Sandy's Notebook:
Volume I

Price: $10.00
Format: Paperback, 110 pp
Pub. Date: July 2004
Order direct by submitting
this order form.






Price: $10.00
Format: Paperback, 100 poems
Pub. Date: 2005
Order direct by submitting
this order form.





Sacred Poems
Sacred Poems

Price: $10.00
Format: Paperback, 100 poems
Pub. Date: 2005
Order direct by submitting
this order form.


Greeting Cards

Card prices begin at $5.00 minimum,
including one 4-line verse, and 25 cents for each line after. Choice of card cover design
There are examples of poems tailor made according to occasion and person
Verses appearing here as samples
are a small part of the total poem

… 3 dots indicate where the part preceding
or following is omitted.

It must be hard to believe fifty years
have passed
For they must surely have been swiftly fleeting,
But are most certainly filled with memories—
Most of which could bear reminiscent repeating.

Life’s sweetest and happiest things,
Like the sunshine that surrounds us.
Are smiling faces, joyful places
That are everywhere around us

Birthday to a friend
So happy birthday, special friend--
Here’s to our friendship’s assurance
And the time through which it will stand
In depth, and faith and endurance.

Happy Birthday from the gang
And with the passage of many more,
May your memory fondly recall
The warmth of smiling friends
As your mind’s eye sees us all

Birthday to sibling

I guess you know you’re pretty special
And so your birthday is too,
For it gave me the brother (or sister) and friend
That I have cherished in you.

You set your goal and traversed the course,
Plodding onward undissuaded,
Determined to give the time it took,
As your life was so pervaded

There were more than casual friendships:
Though how could we have known way back when,
That strength and length would span these years,
Unforeseen or expected back then?...

From a sympathy poem I wrote called “Impacts”
So that we know that because they were a part
Of our lives in some way, be it big or small
When they are then committed to the ages
Their life on earth is still a part of us all


Sympathy to family of deceased
God seemed to create a special person
When He let Heidi emerge at birth,
Knowing of the blessing she would become
To all those whose paths she crossed on earth.


“To someone” (TS) category
(This was Written July 28, 2003(The eve of Bob Hope’s passing)
Sent to his family in CA.)

Tribute to Bob Hope
Sandy Dickson

With the purpose of his life fulfilled
And more full and enriched by far than most,
Bob Hope will live far beyond his years
In the fond memories the world will host,
For all whose lives he touched so brightly
By the giving of hearty laughter,
Will cherish and fondly recall him
As he steps into his hereafter.
The multitudes, especially soldiers
Whose burdensome times got too tough to cope
Knew rough spots were made more bearable
         In the comfort there was always “Hope!”
For what he gave will linger far past
The time on this earth he so treasured.
Where he has left a far brighter place
By the gifts he endowed, unmeasured.
To go to a place more radiant still,
Where surely there will be just reward
For the life and giving he did here,
For you, Bob Hope, we thank the Lord!
          Thanks for the memories—

Just to let someone know he or she is special…
Lord, there are some folks who are Your masterpieces,
And though I know they may heartily disagree,
They just don’t see themselves as anyone special
But that’s a part of their charm and humility
(5 more verses)

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